August 19th, 2009
The music’s playing, taking control of me. Off across the country, off to where I don’t know. Off to find myself, find a comfort zone. Looking for something in someone, looking for something in me, looking for the music that’ll help set me free. Friendship is a loss of privacy, giving someone just as much of the ability to destroy you as the one you love. Cutting deep, feel the knife penetrate your body, almost to mix you up and leave you where you belong. Leaving you bleeding, searching for help, finding nothing. Looking in the mirror, there’s nothing you see that’s worth it, it’s those people you’re here for, but once they’re gone, why are you still here. Blast the music louder, too loud to hear your own thoughts, don’t be yourself, they don’t like you that way. Block out the sound, block out the music, block out the buzzing, the silence, leave me with nothing. This is all I have, I never wanted this, but the love broke me and I gave myself up for a cold-hearted soul that sucked the life from me and left me with all the nothing I deserve.