November 8th, 2009

It’s crazy
how people you think you know
turn into
people you don’t.

Eyes wide
there’s so much you can’t see
though it is all real
but it doesn’t exist
because it was fake.

Loud noises
nothing that you want to hear
ear to ear
make it stop
it’s not real
it’s fake
I don’t know these people.

I shake
and I can’t stop
but you can’t see it
because it’s not real
but it’s not fake
I feel it
I feel you
it’s crazy
I don’t know you.

I want to scream
but once I start
I fear
I’ll forget how to stop.

don’t be a quitter
and don’t stop.

I cry
and not the kind for pain
the kind
where you lose your mind.

I breathe
but not naturally
I force in the air
but it finds a way out
before reaching my lungs.

Inhale nothing
sink into myself
I can’t escape
you can’t escape
because you’re fighting

I thought I knew
the mirror
but I don’t.

I found a way
to comfort me
but inside
nothing’s what it is
you can’t see
what I can see.

I’m sinking
into myself
and it’s crazy;


2009 (24)

2019 Concluded

Hello everyone, I just wanted to say that I can’t believe last year has ended already! I just began this blog in 2018, and suddenly it’s 2020! This month I reached 100 followers, and to celebrate, I acquired this new domain! I also launched an Instagram account if you wanted to follow my posts: @dollurban_


Last year I posted a recap mid-year because I was experiencing writer’s block. It encouraged me to see that people were still reading my blog after two months of me not posting, and I wanted to let all my followers know that I would be posting soon. So when I wasn’t in class, at work, or writing, I was busy making memories!

2009 – 2019

2005 – 2019

My husband and I purchased a new house and car!

I then redid both of our bathrooms by myself.

Overall, I would say I had a productive year!

If anyone is curious about what music inspired me last year, you can find my top 100 songs of 2019 below:



October 29th, 2009

I am alone in a crowded room
I see everyone, but I’m just another face
I hear their voices, but they all blur into one
I smell the odor of death in the air, surrounding me
I feel it in my bones that I won’t make it any longer
I think I’ve finally lost hope of being saved
I fear that I’m going to be forgotten
I wish it didn’t have to be this way
I believe my plans were much more than God had planned for myself
I am dying

Note: This was a school assignment based off of a photo from the Holocaust.