The Real Me

November 4th, 2018

Everyday I wake up and look in the mirror
I smile and say I’m fine
But I know that’s not the truth
When I’m living a life that’s not mine
Some people know my story
Some say they’re thankful to meet someone like them
But when they see the real me
They walk away because they can’t comprehend
That I actually have a disease
My depression is not a trend
My anxiety is crippling
And I just needed a friend
But they take the first out that they get
Because friends come and go
And I can’t get too close
To someone who doesn’t know
Because I drop my walls
To those who don’t say goodbye
It’s hard to stop myself
When I don’t have to live my lie
But people don’t like the real me
They want the version I don’t know
So I will keep my distance
With a smile and a show

Disclosure: I read a new poem this week. If you can’t tell, I was unpracticed and extremely nervous. However, this is the real me.

Mission Accomplished

November 3rd, 2018

This is the final battle
It’s me versus my mirror
And when she’s looking back at me
She knows it’s her I fear
As I contemplate my defeat
I wish I were more mundane
But I’ve been made into this vixen
And I won’t ever be the same
These thoughts are circling in my head
And I can’t make them stop
They’re spewing like a broken faucet
That never meant to drop
They have me running down the drain
In fragments that can’t be put back together
And just because I started this storm
Doesn’t mean I can control the weather
I’m bubbling inside
I’m bursting into flames
I’ve been engulfed by my emotions
And my need to end these games
So with one swift movement
My mirror has been demolished
I’m over this war
It’s my turn to say mission accomplished

Deliverance

October 19th, 2018

In a quiet place
I always find
I let my thoughts
Outside my mind
So close
But no one sees
Up on a staircase
Where I can be free
Confined to my thoughts
Is no way to be living
Up on a rooftop
My pencil’s unforgiving
And sitting glass to glass
I found a place to hide
But the reflections see it all
And I still can’t decide
I’m hidden in plain sight
But I don’t want to be found
I’m just searching for the place
My imagination can’t be bound