Fix Me

November 9th, 2009

Shake
because they all can see
they know
you can’t stand your ground
you’re dizzy
you’re falling
falling
falling.

Deep
deep
deeper
right into your skin
and you’re trapped
here
now
no way out
this is you
but your skin doesn’t fit
it doesn’t make sense.

Jumble
my words
my thoughts
so confused
so dizzy
so deep
hit the core
no known problem
no solution
this is me
no solution.

Solve me;
there’s no answer.

Fix me;
there’s nothing wrong.

I’m not broken;
you can’t fix me.

So Confused

October 11th, 2009

So suddenly
I can’t believe
I let myself get into this

And anxiously
I made believe
Happy endings really exist

And on my own
And so alone
I found comfort in a voice

And in the sound
So interwound
I led myself into a choice

And questioning
What once believed
A path I’d find would do me right

And nervously
I can’t believe
I once was looking for the light

And in the end
It will make sense
But nothing seems to anymore

And up and down
This stupid road
Still looking for an open door

I once believed
I once thought true
That love was a mutual feeling

But years of pain
And weekly crying
My broken heart’s finally done healing

And late at night
I couldn’t sleep
With thoughts of you clouding my mind

I took the pain
I took the confusion
Cause loving you just made me blind

And out of sight
Was never out of mind
Until I found someone thought to be better

But I got caught up
I tripped too fast
To find myself under the weather

And friends can’t see
When they’re not around
And maybe I found
I like it that way

And so confused
And so confused
And so confused
And so confused

I can’t say it enough
To bring out it’s worth
Because so confused
Is all I’m worth

Present

November 5th, 2019

I don’t know what I’m doing
But I just keep going
I try to hide who I am
But my anxiety is showing
I’ll crumble into pieces
If you look me in my eyes
Because all of my walls
Have become my disguise
I try not to care
But they know that I do
I feel everything
Even when I don’t want to
I try to be strong
And that’s not enough
So easily
They call my bluff
I’m just not okay
But I think that’s okay
I’ve made it before
I can get through today