Forgive Me

September 23rd, 2019

I want to hate myself
For what I did to me
But I don’t know how
This was something I didn’t foresee
I blame myself
When this wasn’t my fault
But I can’t let go
Even when forgiving is my default
I want to condone myself
For all the blame I take
But I can’t help myself
When others seal my fate
I try to love myself
I try to climb my walls
But I can’t fix myself
When forgiveness is my downfall

Give Me Back Myself

July 27th, 2009

You break me down to my weakest point
And I want to lock the door
But there’s no reason
Things still get in
I still get out
I’ve told you most of who I really am
Things I’ve never said in person
Things I’ve never wanted to write
I’ve told you
But it didn’t mean anything
I’m still just some girl
We’ll never be close
You don’t even try
And I don’t want to be
You trick me so much
You force me to trust
And it feels right at the moment
Then by the end, I feel empty
I feel I’ve said too much
I’ll never get it back
I’ve lost that part of myself
I never wanted to give this much of me to anyone
But for some reason it was you
For some reason you were different
But really you’re no different than anyone else
You only let me down
You make me make mistakes
And I don’t know if you’re one
But it feels like you are
I’ve grown miserable again
And it started because of you
I don’t want to take the blame
Could this really be my fault
You never let it stop
I got too caught up
And you don’t even care
About how much I care
And I don’t know why I do
There’s just no reason to
I’ve tried to let go
But you trick me again
I can’t wait ’til you leave
Because maybe this might end
And it may sound mean
That I want you to go
But I’m sick of holding on
To someone I don’t know

Diagram

May 3rd, 2019

They say that you should follow your dreams
But that’s not as simple as it seems
When all my thoughts still echo of blame
It’s time to leave who I became
Anxiety is not who I am
I’m more than just your diagram
I have goals that I will pursue
This feeling is something I need to subdue
Me and depression are not one and the same
I’m my own identity with my own name
These pills I take to make me feel better
Because living without them is too hard to weather
And I don’t know who I should be
I can’t bear to know this side of me
So I must find how to proceed
A path that leads me to succeed