Spiders

May 10th, 2010

I know the truth but I fall false
I’m tangled up in a web of illusion
And in my heart I fear I’ve lied
I’m hoping for a conclusion
I pray to be right
But know that I’m wrong
My fingers have been crossed
And I’ve known all along
These spiders know the truth
And it slips through the cracks
And I fall to the floor
With the truth that it lacks
All these tears full of lies
And this heart about to burst
I was thinking of myself
When I should’ve put you first
And the rain’s falling slowly
And I think they think I’m crazy
But I think I’m forgetting
Because this is all getting hazy
And when I wake up I’m gone
In an unfamiliar place
And the lies are all around
Written right across my face
And they all left me here
Because the rain left me showing
The truth is uncovered
And the spiders kept going
They opened my wounds
And left me to die
In a sticky little web
I built from this lie

Fears

March 24th, 2010

It scares me
The thought that once again I’m fooled
Because I am so naive
And vulnerable
Should I trust again
The question doesn’t leave my mind
I’m feeling so lost
I’m feeling less sain
My heart has a way
Of getting the best of me
Does this deserve the best?
Do I even have a best?
These chemicals are overwhelming
I can’t keep a thought
I can’t fight my feelings
I need this to stop
I don’t know what’s right
I’m scared of the past
I try to keep hope
But I just can’t forget
Haunting my thoughts
And I can’t let it go
These feelings are confusing me
More than you know
Should I give in
Should I take a chance
My heart is so restless
Beating out of my chest

Disease

February 20th, 2010

Believe me, you always knew I was lying
Hurt me, you could always tell I was crying
Breathe me, I don’t deserve this air
Numb me, because I just don’t want to care
There’s not much else that I can say
Just waiting for the end of this day
They all tell me I will be okay
I just don’t want to hear this today
Push everything back and it won’t exist
Take back my disease and the scars on my wrist
You changed the way my mirror and I spoke
And everything I used to be, you broke
Every chance I ever had, you changed my mind
And I’m just sick of knowing that you made me blind
Now you’re gone, and I have nothing left to me at all
I never thought I could ever take that hard of a fall
Open my eyes and I now can see I was so confused
And everything I kept inside made me feel more abused
The pain spread around in places I just could no longer take
And how long I kept it inside before I finally let myself break
I took the pieces and I had to put them back together
But the pieces won’t always fit forever
The glue and the tape just won’t always do
And I know I just can’t count on you
I’ll find a way to keep me sane
I just can’t always numb the pain
So here I am and it might be okay
Am I finally ready to live today
The girl in my mirror still yells some cruel things
And there’s still hurtful words every time the phone rings
But it’ll help me cope and I’ll finally be strong
Because as blind as I was, I now know it was you who was wrong