Doorway

November 12th, 2009

In my doorway
I found you
not what I expected
but I found I like you

You held onto me
very close
and I found
I liked it that way

We were so close
but so far away
and at my front door
I left you

Goodbye
so far
so far
you left me

And in the air
I feel you
telephone calls
wireless connection

So close
so far
so near
so far

But I could wish
and I could want
but I am not
who you want

So far
so far
so far
you don’t want me

So close
so close
so close
I want you

Hollow

November 12th, 2019

The months fly by
It’s so easy to forget
That as the calendar changes
It comes with new regrets
With a new year
There is not a new me
And no matter what I do
I am my reality
I was searching for myself
But I wasn’t enough
I turned to the wrong people
They left me all mixed up
You can’t leave
And not say goodbye
I pretend that I’m okay
But I still wonder why
You can’t cut me off
I know I’m worth more
You treated me like dirt
Yet I can’t lock the door
I hold on to memories
I want to let go
I’ll love the people who hurt me
Until I am hollow

Goodbye

August 2004

It’s hard for me to say
What’s becoming of this day
Never knowing what to do
I always end up running back to you

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Maybe I could at least say sorry
But the pain you put me through isn’t over
I’m always crying over this but it happened months ago
It’s hard to forget all your twisted lies

I wish I could lock them up in a cage
Why am I stuck in this stupid stage
Water dripping from my eyes so much like a faucet
My dreams are missing in action

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Maybe you could have said sorry
And maybe I would have forgave you
But that’s all for now
Never say sorry
It means nothing
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Sorry means nothing
Goodbye

My heart is beating really fast
My hands are getting sweaty
Will this moment ever last
Holding on is getting hard
Why is life like this

[Chorus:]
Hey, I was dreaming of you
Late last night (oh)
I was in love with you
But now that feeling’s gone
Never knowing what to say
It’s like you ditched me every day
My heart is beating uncontrollably
I’m going to cry
It’s time to say goodbye
To all of my feelings that have been unleashed
Lock them in a cage, get out of this stupid stage
All of this happened because you said goodbye

Disclosure: I found some older writing, mostly songs, on my computer. I will be posting these the remainder of this month – feel free to laugh at my teenage angst!

2004 (5)