The Truth

January 11th, 2010

I’m locking up secrets
They’re encoded in this book
I’m a composed person
Until I get that look
I’m coming undone
Your eyes bring me down
I’ve reached out for help
But you’re never around
I don’t want to play your games
I don’t know why I care
When I don’t want you around
You’re always there
I’ve written it out
These feelings so bare
I’m still longing for you
And this just isn’t fair

That Much

December 30th, 2009

I get a little bit crazy
But nothing out of control
My minds a little bit spacy
When I’m out on my own
And I’m a little bit stupid
And I’m falling behind
And I’m a little bit complicated
Why can’t I just push rewind

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

And I’m a little lost
Never been over here
And I’m a little dizzy
Trying to get over this fear
And I lost my help
Because they let me go
And the more I ask
The more I hear no

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

And I find my way out
But realize I’m wrong
And I’m always confused
Have I been all along
And I thought I knew
Exactly who I was before
But moving on
I didn’t anymore

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much

Mirrors

July 23rd, 2009

My eyes are searching
And they find you
A simple blur in my vision
But it’s so much more than that
I reach out
But never close enough to touch
Never close enough to feel
I’m never close enough
The image floats away
The blur is gone
And I’m all alone
Nothing to reach
I can’t be let down anymore
Except for the mirror
Another blur
I turned it around
I don’t want to be her
I’ve got nothing left
And she mocks it at me
And as much as I want to
I can’t change a thing
I’ve been tied up and beat
Into this person called me
And the more I try to change
It’s all I can be
And I reach out for help
But the blur went away
And I talk to myself
But I never make sense
And my problems are here
And they’re going unsolved
And my mind works so fast
But it won’t get involved
And my heart is still beating
But will I survive
I’ve been here for so long
I wonder if I’m alive
And this place in my mind
Has been my new home
With no windows and doors
Trapped to be alone
The people come and go
But they just don’t see me
They just don’t hear me
They all blur into one
They all let me down
And in the mirror
Is where the blur can be found
So I shatter the glass
It feels good to see it break
Then I realize I’m feeling
So have I finally escaped
And the shattered pieces
All look at me
They try to keep me here
But I just can’t stay
And I’m searching this place
Nothing left
Nothing right
I’m just lost in this feeling
That nothing’s alright
Then I hear a voice
Or am I just crazy
I go back to the mirror
And she says she wants to save me
She knows I’ve got nothing
And that I made her cry
And when I’m looking at her
She looks me straight in the eyes
Then I wake up
And I know where I am
The light is so bright
From the window I smashed
And though I got out
The feeling won’t go away
That the girl in the mirror
Follows me every day
And I know it sounds crazy
Because I’m the one in the mirror
But this girl’s not me
She’s something so unclear
And still, I see the blurs
They pass me every day
And again I reach out
But still too far away
And I don’t know what to do
I just feel so insane
And asking for help
Is out of the way
And the mirror holds my secrets
Smashed to bits
And they all call me crazy
And it’s starting to fit
But how would it not
I speak to my mirror
And the words she speaks back
I don’t want to hear
And my mind is racing
I’m feeling sky high
And somebody’s dropped me
So how long ’til I die?