Disease

February 20th, 2010

Believe me, you always knew I was lying
Hurt me, you could always tell I was crying
Breath me, I don’t deserve this air
Numb me, because I just don’t want to care
There’s not much else that I can say
Just waiting for the end of this day
They all tell me I will be okay
I just don’t want to hear this today
Push everything back and it won’t exist
Take back my disease and the scars on my wrist
You changed the way my mirror and I spoke
And everything I used to be, you broke
Every chance I ever had, you changed my mind
And I’m just sick of knowing that you made me blind
Now you’re gone, and I have nothing left to me at all
I never thought I could ever take that hard of a fall
Open my eyes and I now can see I was so confused
And everything I kept inside made me feel more abused
The pain spread around in places I just could no longer take
And how long I kept it inside before I finally let myself break
I took the pieces and I had to put them back together
But the pieces won’t always fit forever
The glue and the tape just won’t always do
And I know I just can’t count on you
I’ll find a way to keep me sane
I just can’t always numb the pain
So here I am and it might be okay
Am I finally ready to live today
The girl in my mirror still yells some cruel things
And there’s still hurtful words every time the phone rings
But it’ll help me cope and I’ll finally be strong
Because as blind as I was, I now know it was you who was wrong

Love Me Anyway

February 13th, 2010

I liked the idea of you and me
But you didn’t take us seriously
Now all of that is in the past
Because nothing ever seems to last
But it’s something I won’t forget
You’re a prison I’ll always regret
You left me with memories that won’t go away
Could someone else love me anyway?
I hate the fact I have this curse
My heart or my actions, I don’t know which is worse
It’s not like you gave me much of a choice
But it’s not like I didn’t have a voice
I wish I had known before this came to be
Because this is now my reality
And I have to live with this day by day
Could someone else love me anyway?

Go Away

December 26th, 2009

Make my world
black and gray
spun into a darker day
and in these shades
the feeling fades
empty
and that’s me
no demand
no hurt
nothing at all
the gray and black
have come back
and I find I lack
the words
to make
it all go
away