Crazy

November 8th, 2009

It’s crazy
how people you think you know
turn into
people you don’t.

Eyes wide
there’s so much you can’t see
though it is all real
but it doesn’t exist
because it was fake.

Loud noises
nothing that you want to hear
echo
ear to ear
make it stop
it’s not real
it’s fake
I don’t know these people.

I shake
and I can’t stop
but you can’t see it
because it’s not real
but it’s not fake
I feel it
I feel you
it’s crazy
I don’t know you.

I want to scream
but once I start
I fear
I’ll forget how to stop.

Quitting
don’t be a quitter
scream
and don’t stop.

I cry
and not the kind for pain
the kind
where you lose your mind.

I breathe
but not naturally
I force in the air
but it finds a way out
before reaching my lungs.

Inhale nothing
sink into myself
I can’t escape
you can’t escape
because you’re fighting
yourself.

I thought I knew
myself
you
the mirror
but I don’t.

I found a way
to comfort me
but inside
nothing’s what it is
you can’t see
what I can see.

I’m sinking
into myself
and it’s crazy;

But
I
don’t
know
you.

Cursed

February 8th, 2007

Someone tell me
How this works
Is this my heart
Or is it a curse
The feelings so deep
That nobody sees
Are currently tearing up
The insides of me
I want to believe
Everything you say
But my heart says
There’s no way
It tells me all these things
They aren’t real
It tells me to
Forget to feel
So I try
I really do
But all these feelings
Lead me to you
And I hold on
I keep my hope
But all my heart says
Is nope
Don’t believe
The words they say
Just wait
Wait for the day
They will twist words
They will lie
And one day because of them
You will cry
I hold my tears back
I keep my fake smile
I keep my hope strong
I overthink my denial
But still my heart
It drives me insane
It shouldn’t be like this
I shouldn’t feel this pain
I close my eyes
Because what’s in my heart
Is slowly tearing me
Apart

That’s Not All

March 14th, 2006

You never answer when I call
You don’t catch me when I fall
You never helped guide me on my way
You just left me and pretended it was okay

Left me standing in the middle of the road
You taught me always to do what I was told
Thanks for trying to help me
You just guided me into insanity

[Chorus:]
Couldn’t you have at least said why
Couldn’t you have at least said goodbye
Couldn’t you have been here when I needed you
Because best friends always help you through

I thought we were best friends
But are we at our end?
You said that you would love me forever
Then you cracked under the pressure

[Chorus:]
Couldn’t you have at least said why
Couldn’t you have at least said goodbye
Couldn’t you have been here when I needed you
Because best friends always help you through

That’s not all, that’s not all
You could at least catch me when I fall
Or helped guide me on my way
But don’t leave me because it’s not okay