Heavy

January 8th, 2010

I’m staring in the distance
But it seems so far away
I’m lost inside the crowd
And I’m lost inside the day
I watch the streetlights change
It makes the time go by
And every time I meet someone
I have to say goodbye
My thoughts are all so heavy
They try to weigh me down
I try to keep my smile
But it turns into a frown
I can’t keep myself stable
I try to hold on tight
And the more I seem to feel something
The more it seems to fight
I’m lost inside my thoughts
You killed me with that look
I trusted you too fast
Because you read me like a book
I warned you I was stupid
So you tricked me with your eyes
And I was all too happy
Until I found out it was lies

You See Me

December 14th, 2009

I think I played your game
But I don’t know if you care
You still came to see for yourself
Why are you always there
I just can’t hide away
I’m always in plain sight
You know where to find me
And we know that it’s not right
Why do I feel these things
You’re tearing me in two
I’m in a good place in my life
Until I get that look from you
Sparks are flying inside me
These butterflies won’t die
I need to make a decision
Before I have to lie

Right Back At The Beginning

November 29th, 2009

I miss the security of knowing when to be let down
that’s the only thing I could ever count on you to do
and I thought I lost that
I thought I overcame that feeling
but moving on
means getting let down
over and over again
maybe it’s what I deserved
maybe the past caught up with me
maybe what’s meant to be will be
and this is it
nothing more
this is all I have to be looking for
disappointment seeks its way to me
there’s no way to leave
this is it
this is what I live for
I’m sick of being a waste of time
I’m sick of having nothing else to find
I’m sick of mixed emotions
I’m sick of thinking of devotion
I’m sick of winding up where I was at the start
I’m sick of these feelings tearing me apart
I’m so tired of not knowing what to do
and ending up crawling towards something new
but in the end, it never works out
and from the start, I’d always have my doubts
and the end always comes
so unplanned
and it always ends that way
this is it
nothing new
I was nothing special to you
years ago it was all the same
I’m sick of being played, game after game
but if that’s life, why am I still living
I’m sick of ending up at the start
right back to the beginning