The Prison of My Skin

January 4th, 2010

The dark surrounding followed me
This is something more
The spinning room is haunting me
No exit and no door
And everything is moving
And I can’t make it go away
And after all this time
I’ve lost track of all the days
And laying down I fell right through
There’s no stable place
So weak and just so dizzy
But this is something I have to face
This is nothing that I knew
I’m learning by the time
And I can’t hold on to what matters
Because nothing’s ever mine
And no one’s ever honest
And no one ever cares
And the more it seems I need someone
The more they’re never there
And I mess up and make mistakes
It’s who I’m trapped to be
But lately, I just feel so lost
I hate to know this is me
I hate to face my mirror
I hate how I feel inside
I hate being trapped in my body
Because there’s nowhere I can hide
I can’t escape this prison
My skin just fits too tight
And I’m searching for emotion
But nothing ever just feels right
I hate looking the same
I don’t reflect my soul
And every time I need someone
I let that person go
I never hurt the right way
I just can’t feel the pain
I can’t make myself happy
And I can’t keep myself sane
And here I am inside
I’ve been dying to be free
I just need to move on
Because the girl in the mirror’s not me
My skin is closing in
I can only feel the guilt
Because I did this to myself
Because I dropped the walls I built
So I’ll put them all back up
And I’ll set myself free
Because I can’t hold on to my sanity
In a prison built for me

That Much

December 30th, 2009

I get a little bit crazy
But nothing out of control
My minds a little bit spacy
When I’m out on my own
And I’m a little bit stupid
And I’m falling behind
And I’m a little bit complicated
Why can’t I just push rewind

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

And I’m a little lost
Never been over here
And I’m a little dizzy
Trying to get over this fear
And I lost my help
Because they let me go
And the more I ask
The more I hear no

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

And I find my way out
But realize I’m wrong
And I’m always confused
Have I been all along
And I thought I knew
Exactly who I was before
But moving on
I didn’t anymore

[Chorus:]
And I don’t know just who I am
Please figure me out
And I don’t know what to do
I’m just always in doubt
And I need some help
Please help me through
And I’ve lost everything
But am I losing you

[Pre Chorus:]
And the piles adding up
But I just can’t take that much