It Doesn’t Matter

December 13th, 2010

It doesn’t matter
How many people are around
I feel so empty
Drowned in the sound
I feel so distant
So far away
And no matter how close
I’m too far to stay
It doesn’t matter though
These people aren’t real
And even if they were
They don’t care how I feel
They don’t know how to love
They don’t know how to see
And in this lonely dark world
I’m still nobody
It doesn’t matter
It’s always been this way
The people don’t care
They don’t want to stay
Nobody cares
But I grew up this way
With no one around
There’s no need to run away
The mirror is my company
The mirror is so fake
The mirror is not my friend
The mirror deserves to break
I like contusions
I know that they’re real
I can see the pain
It’s something that can heal
I don’t like attachment
I don’t like to know
If they get too close
I have to let go
It doesn’t matter though
I grew up this way
Always alone
I don’t know how to stay
It doesn’t matter though
Everyone is fake
All alone
The mirror watches me break

Reflections Don’t Lie

May 31st, 2021

I feel beside myself
Am I even here
My life turned into
Something insincere
Is this the wakeup call
That I have been needing
These wounds never healed
I can still feel them bleeding
Taking bits and pieces
I try to keep things together
Nothing ever fits
When I’m a victim of the weather
I’ve crashed and I’ve burned
For something I yearn
A content life
But it’s just not my turn
Is it too much medication
Or is it not enough
When I spill out all my feelings
I regret opening up
Then I realize
That it’s not only me
Like Cassie Steele asked
“How much for happy?”