Denial

June 10th, 2021

Another collision
Like the last two years disappeared
Like before I ever met you
But my memories haven’t cleared
I had consciously chosen
Not to write you into my pages
But I can’t keep pretending
If I want to get through these next stages
And I’ve tried to shake this feeling
But for months it hasn’t faded
You left me in your past
Like it was me who made you jaded
Then I dreamed that you said sorry
When I know it’ll remain unheard
So I’ll write you out of my system
And I can accept what occurred

Unexpressed

August 13th, 2020

Putting thoughts on paper
Shouldn’t be this hard
Because when I’m with my notebook
It’s safe to drop my guard
But I leave things unresolved
In the back of my mind
Like an archived checklist
Of why I’m not fine
My thoughts are just that
They’ll never be more
But if I can’t explain it
What am I writing this for

Crutch

January 17th, 2010

I didn’t want to write that
But the thought won’t leave my mind
And in my prior journal
I thought I left you behind
But here you are on these pages
One turned into two
And as this book is filling up
I know it’s because of you
I took to writing because
There were problems to work through
Now those thoughts don’t fill my verses
As much as these things about you
I forgot how much I needed this
But I know I don’t need you
Then you fill me with confusion
And I don’t know what to do
I’m writing on the paper
But it doesn’t mean that much
And these words are adding up
Though this is nothing but a crutch