Drunk Sensations

October 1st, 2010

The taste
My tongue itself
Will never want to know
The feeling
The numbness
The everything
It’s all too much for me
I don’t want to know
I never want to know
Why did you do this to me
I’m much too young
I’m much too old
For my age
I know too much
I’ve seen too much
The smell
It reeks
While death lingers
You’re too fond of it though
And not too fond of me
Because these drunk sensations stay
Even when they’re gone
They’re not too far away
Because
Somehow
The bottles always empty in your room

Mother

April 15th, 2010

She walks slowly down the stairs
Hands pressed tight against the walls
Too drunk to control her movement
But not wanting to fall
The blank look in her eyes
She’s not really there
No expression, only pain
She thinks that no one cares
She doesn’t know yet
Alcohol is not the cure
Every new bottle I want to smash
But she’s made it so clear
I can’t make her change
She doesn’t care that she hurts her family
Just keeps drinking from that cup
And this is no role model for me
I can’t change the glass in her hand
It never seems to run dry
And I can’t fix the pain she feels
But I also can’t care when she cries
If she was still my mother
Why does she hurt me
She’s killing herself with a bottle
But she would disagree
She doesn’t want to stop
I’m not worth her time
And I can’t fix her life
So I have to fix mine
She can’t accept I’ve tried
But I’m not enough
I try to stay strong
But I’m not that tough
She’s poisoning herself
This shouldn’t be right
But if this is all you’ll ever be
I’ll have to give up this fight
Would you want this for me
To take after you
I wish you could see
How much more you could do

The Secret Life of Dolls

January 15th, 2019

Let’s go back
To a story that never started
Where a porcelain toy
Wasn’t left broken hearted
Let’s go back
To memories that don’t exist
Because the bruises never formed
At the hands of angry fists
Let’s go back
To when you didn’t drink the bottle
It fell empty on its own
And you’re still a perfect role model
Let’s go back
To when you didn’t let me down
You must have told me you were moving
Before you left town
Let’s go back
To when our family was defined
And I will delete what never happened
From the archives of my mind