The Truth

January 11th, 2010

I’m locking up secrets
They’re encoded in this book
I’m a composed person
Until I get that look
I’m coming undone
Your eyes bring me down
I’ve reached out for help
But you’re never around
I don’t want to play your games
I don’t know why I care
When I don’t want you around
You’re always there
I’ve written it out
These feelings so bare
I’m still longing for you
And this just isn’t fair

Crave

November 28th, 2009

It was the intensity of your curious eyes
burning into mine
with such confusion
that held me in awe for so long.

I had no grip on what I was doing
where I was going
and what the ending outcome would be
but I loved every moment of it.

Secret words we’d exchange
never fell from my lips
I only traced the words
with my fingertips –

Because they were mine
my secret
mine to hold
mine.

No actions followed our words
no more confused stares
we faded from that
right into awkward smiles
right into no longer existing.

No longer does any word
I say to you
mean anything
and your words are still secrets
but no longer my favorites.

You no longer light up my phone
and light up my face
with a smile
from the secrets we created
in a dizzy illusion
of what would seem to be a crush –

But we failed
and in a whirl of fading stars
I fell back to the ground.

I found my way up again
only to find
your words have been given away
but that’s okay.

Your words were more than enough
to fill my appetite
and no longer are they
what I crave.

(Originally Posted Here)

Crazy

November 8th, 2009

It’s crazy
how people you think you know
turn into
people you don’t.

Eyes wide
there’s so much you can’t see
though it is all real
but it doesn’t exist
because it was fake.

Loud noises
nothing that you want to hear
echo
ear to ear
make it stop
it’s not real
it’s fake
I don’t know these people.

I shake
and I can’t stop
but you can’t see it
because it’s not real
but it’s not fake
I feel it
I feel you
it’s crazy
I don’t know you.

I want to scream
but once I start
I fear
I’ll forget how to stop.

Quitting
don’t be a quitter
scream
and don’t stop.

I cry
and not the kind for pain
the kind
where you lose your mind.

I breathe
but not naturally
I force in the air
but it finds a way out
before reaching my lungs.

Inhale nothing
sink into myself
I can’t escape
you can’t escape
because you’re fighting
yourself.

I thought I knew
myself
you
the mirror
but I don’t.

I found a way
to comfort me
but inside
nothing’s what it is
you can’t see
what I can see.

I’m sinking
into myself
and it’s crazy;

But
I
don’t
know
you.