Dethroned

April 24th, 2021

Are you listening to me
I see you disassociate from our conversation
Engaged with another
Like they’re your salvation
Are you seeing me
You make me feel lamentable
Like I’m too much or not enough
Because you’ve deemed me as dispensable
Do you hear your contradictions
Holding me to higher standards than you alone
Inconsistent with your actions
Get off your self-appointed throne

Disease

February 20th, 2010

Believe me, you always knew I was lying
Hurt me, you could always tell I was crying
Breathe me, I don’t deserve this air
Numb me, because I just don’t want to care
There’s not much else that I can say
Just waiting for the end of this day
They all tell me I will be okay
I just don’t want to hear this today
Push everything back and it won’t exist
Take back my disease and the scars on my wrist
You changed the way my mirror and I spoke
And everything I used to be, you broke
Every chance I ever had, you changed my mind
And I’m just sick of knowing that you made me blind
Now you’re gone, and I have nothing left to me at all
I never thought I could ever take that hard of a fall
Open my eyes and I now can see I was so confused
And everything I kept inside made me feel more abused
The pain spread around in places I just could no longer take
And how long I kept it inside before I finally let myself break
I took the pieces and I had to put them back together
But the pieces won’t always fit forever
The glue and the tape just won’t always do
And I know I just can’t count on you
I’ll find a way to keep me sane
I just can’t always numb the pain
So here I am and it might be okay
Am I finally ready to live today
The girl in my mirror still yells some cruel things
And there’s still hurtful words every time the phone rings
But it’ll help me cope and I’ll finally be strong
Because as blind as I was, I now know it was you who was wrong

I Know

January 25th, 2010

One little lie
I shouldn’t dignify
So I placed a rose in to your hand
You placed your toes in the wet sand
I saw that look inside your eyes
But I let you say goodbye
I know I didn’t try
I know I didn’t try
We crashed on your bed
My chin above your head
In my arms was where you laid
But we soon began to fade
And not the beach, but where we lie
One last kiss before goodbye
Our hands intertwined
Guilty thoughts inside my mind
I let the train pull me away
But it brought you back to me one day
We walked around in the summer air
I just really wanted to care
I know I wasn’t fair
I know I wasn’t fair
Another laying in my bed
Confused thoughts inside your head
I never told you, you were right
My feelings I just couldn’t fight
I wish I could take it back
But then the experience I’d lack
I know that it was wrong
I’d known it all along
I wish I never lied
I’m sorry I didn’t try

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