Present

November 5th, 2019

I don’t know what I’m doing
But I just keep going
I try to hide who I am
But my anxiety is showing
I’ll crumble into pieces
If you look me in my eyes
Because all of my walls
Have become my disguise
I try not to care
But they know that I do
I feel everything
Even when I don’t want to
I try to be strong
And that’s not enough
So easily
They call my bluff
I’m just not okay
But I think that’s okay
I’ve made it before
I can get through today

Forgive Me

September 23rd, 2019

I want to hate myself
For what I did to me
But I don’t know how
This was something I didn’t foresee
I blame myself
When this wasn’t my fault
But I can’t let go
Even when forgiving is my default
I want to condone myself
For all the blame I take
But I can’t help myself
When others seal my fate
I try to love myself
I try to climb my walls
But I can’t fix myself
When forgiveness is my downfall

Blue Eyes (Tell Lies)

May 27th, 2009

You’re that feeling inside me that won’t go away
You stare me down in the mirror every day
You’re the one saying stay quiet because you aren’t tough
You’re that voice in my head saying I’m not good enough
You’re that voice that judges me every day
Puts me down in every possible way
Attaching to me and pulling down my walls
Watching me crumble while they fall
You look me in the eyes and expect me to blink
I know what you’re doing ‘cause I’m smarter than you think
You hold me back just so you can grow stronger
And you label it friendship, but I can’t stay any longer
You like to see me cry when I break
And your smile has grown to look so fake
I look at you just searching for something but lies
But they shine from your smile and up to your blue eyes