Dethroned

April 24th, 2021

Are you listening to me
I see you disassociate from our conversation
Engaged with another
Like they’re your salvation
Are you seeing me
You make me feel lamentable
Like I’m too much or not enough
Because you’ve deemed me as dispensable
Do you hear your contradictions
Holding me to higher standards than you alone
Inconsistent with your actions
Get off your self-appointed throne

Finally Happy

February 15th, 2010

Open your eyes
What do you see
Is this what you wanted
Because for me everything’s wrong
This wasn’t supposed to happen
It wasn’t supposed to be this way
Everything was supposed to be alright
I thought I was finally happy
But every once in a while
When I think I am
I open my eyes
And realize I’m not
Everything’s wrong
Please make this right
Nothing is right
Why is it wrong
I can’t fix this feeling
It won’t go away
It’s been lurking around me
For so many days
It crashed me down
It tells me where I belong
And the more I hear those words
The more I wish they were wrong
Nothing is right
This isn’t right
Do you believe this
These words you hear
Why do I hear this
Why won’t it go away
Why is this life
Was I supposed to live this way
I close my eyes
I make-believe
But urging me to
They open again
Why can’t I just be happy
Why can’t I just believe
Why can’t I live a lie
Why can’t I close my eyes
I wish it away
I wish it to be gone
I’m sick of this feeling
I want it to be gone
So I cover my eyes
I put on my smile
And maybe if I’m not looking
I can be happy for a while

Wanting

August 18th, 2020

Here I am again
I lack the words to say
I set myself apart
But I don’t want to feel this way
I want to feel accepted
I want to feel wanted
But I won’t let myself
Feel anything but haunted
Here I am again
I don’t know how to proceed
I write myself into pieces
That no one ever reads
I want to feel happy
I want to feel important
But I can’t change myself
So I’ll live my life dormant