I’m staring in the distance
But it seems so far away
I’m lost inside the crowd
And I’m lost inside the day
I watch the streetlights change
It makes the time go by
And every time I meet someone
I have to say goodbye
My thoughts are all so heavy
They try to weigh me down
I try to keep my smile
But it turns into a frown
I can’t keep myself stable
I try to hold on tight
And the more I seem to feel something
The more it seems to fight
I’m lost inside my thoughts
You killed me with that look
I trusted you too fast
Because you read me like a book
I warned you I was stupid
So you tricked me with your eyes
And I was all too happy
Until I found out it was lies
The dark surrounding followed me
This is something more
The spinning room is haunting me
No exit and no door
And everything is moving
And I can’t make it go away
And after all this time
I’ve lost track of all the days
And laying down I fell right through
There’s no stable place
So weak and just so dizzy
But this is something I have to face
This is nothing that I knew
I’m learning by the time
And I can’t hold on to what matters
Because nothing’s ever mine
And no one’s ever honest
And no one ever cares
And the more it seems I need someone
The more they’re never there
And I mess up and make mistakes
It’s who I’m trapped to be
But lately, I just feel so lost
I hate to know this is me
I hate to face my mirror
I hate how I feel inside
I hate being trapped in my body
Because there’s nowhere I can hide
I can’t escape this prison
My skin just fits too tight
And I’m searching for emotion
But nothing ever just feels right
I hate looking the same
I don’t reflect my soul
And every time I need someone
I let that person go
I never hurt the right way
I just can’t feel the pain
I can’t make myself happy
And I can’t keep myself sane
And here I am inside
I’ve been dying to be free
I just need to move on
Because the girl in the mirror’s not me
My skin is closing in
I can only feel the guilt
Because I did this to myself
Because I dropped the walls I built
So I’ll put them all back up
And I’ll set myself free
Because I can’t hold on to my sanity
In a prison built for me
“I think you’re depressed”
An unusual love letter
Your words perplexed me
Saying you wanted me to get better
You listed examples
That I didn’t want to see
Mental illness wasn’t something
I could grasp tangibly
I don’t feel sick
I don’t want to be dead
And I’m not always sad
But you sensed things unsaid
At eighteen years young
I didn’t want to accept
That these feelings are normal
So I left them uncheck
